Your child is not broken...

I'm bracing myself because I'm sure I'll offend some folks with this one, but it needs to be said.

Your child is not broken.

There is nothing wrong with them. 

Sadly, the people who need to read this probably won't or won't think I'm talking about them, but it breaks my heart every time a parent contacts me telling me that their young child needs professional help because they challenge them as parents.

THAT'S WHAT CHILDREN DO!

And some will definitely be better at it than others.  But to teach a child that there is something wrong with them because of this only destroys their self-esteem.


It's a child's job to test the boundaries, and a parent's job to lovingly set them. 

Believe me... I am by no means saying being a parent is easy.  Being a parent is the hardest job that exists, and it often goes unappreciated.  Setting boundaries in a loving way is nearly impossible at times.  But to blame your child for your own inadequacies is (dare I say it?) abusive. 

You consciously chose to bring them into this world. And with that choice, you elected to be their guardian... to protect their developing mind from undue stress, to nurture their self-esteem, and to teach them how to deal with the world and thrive.  If you are choosing to consider yourself a victim of their behavior, what are you teaching them? That they are broken? They they are victims of their environment? 

I am happy to help children overcome those things that challenge them, but more importantly, if you feel there is something wrong with your child, it's time to look in a mirror. 

How are you guilty of the behaviors you accuse them of?  How can you adjust your parenting techniques to make things run smoother in the household?  Children will often resist structure and discipline, but if you stand firm (and fair!!), they will thrive.  Perhaps we need to utilize some NET to help you let go of your fears, resentments, and other emotions that are preventing you from being the parent you want to be. 

Here's the cold, hard truth... if your children are not who you want them to be, it's not their fault; it's yours. And if this made you angry, or brought out some other emotion for you, I encourage you to let me have it in the comment section below. 

"Parents give us something to rise above..."

I often feel the need to remind my patients when we are releasing past hurts and patterns with Neuroemotional Technique that no parent is perfect.  Even "bad" parents are doing the best they can for themselves and their children.  They may be caught in their own illusions that convince them they are incapable of doing things differently, but they are still doing their best.  Don Miguel Ruiz, one of my favorite authors states,

"Your best is going to change from moment to moment. 

It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick."

It's important to remember that no parent, or human being, for that matter, is perfect. And those imperfections effect us as we grow and learn and emulate those imperfect humans that raised us.  The important thing to remember is that we have a choice whether we are going to use that as an excuse to stay stuck in our childhood programming and ride along the path we feel has been created for ourselves, or to rise above our parents' humanity and be a better person for what they have taught us.

I challenge you to think of your parents' inevitable mistakes as something to rise above instead of fall victim to... after all, how boring would life be if everything was perfect?

I begin my blogging journey...

Welcome, to both of us! You, to my blog, and me, to the world of health blogging. I'm not new to the blog scene, but I realized recently that people are either clueless, apathetic, or hopeless about their health and what it means to be truly well, and as a Chiropractor, who lives, breathes, and was trained with a wellness philosophy, I felt it was my responsibility to get out there and educate. And this just happens to be one of the many ways I intend to do so.

I'd like to add a disclaimer at this point. I am, by no means whatsoever, "a picture of perfect health." I indulge my sweet tooth. I skip exercise to do other things. I even *gasp* eat such nutritionally terrifying foods like fried chicken and biscuits with gravy. I am not perfect, nor do I expect anyone else to be. But I strive for good health. I strive to be healthy the majority of the time, so that those days when I misbehave, it doesn't count quite so much in the long run. Some days, I do better than others. Some days, I let it all go, give myself a hug, and remind myself that I'm only human. And some days, I beat myself up with the best of them, before I remember, "Oh yeah. I'm not supposed to be perfect!" This blog is simply a place where I can share the latest in research, observations, and the wellness philosophy. I'll even throw in a recipe, cooking tip, or favorite exercise here and there. Topics you can look forward to are as follows (but don't even think I would limit my topics to these few!):

• Living healthy on a budget
• Affordable Organics
• Easy vegetable gardening for small or large spaces
• Why do parents feed their children things they wouldn't eat themselves?
• Exercise: Why bother when I don't have time?
• I'm going to the pediatrician for ANOTHER prescription????
• Vaccines
• ADD/ADHD
  
• Recently discovered causes of Asthma and Allergies
• Why put sugar in your gas tank when you wouldn't do that to your car?
  

And of course I'll throw some chiropractic success stories in there as well as general rants (be assured those will be both equally amusing AND disturbing).

I hope you enjoy our journey, and remember, true health is not simply the absence of disease, but a sense of vitality in which all our body's systems are working in harmony and the mind is at ease. It is a potential we are all born with, or we wouldn't be born at all. Unfortunately, through introducing toxins, depriving ourselves of nutrients, leaving our body to become one with the couch, and sabotaging it with toxic thinking, we give our health away. Time to earn it back! We are constantly traveling the distance between health and sickness... which direction are you going to choose?