It couldn't have been more perfect.
A few months ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about a dating relationship that was not working out the way I had hoped and she stopped me and said, "You're being a real jerk to yourself, Jenn!!" I couldn't disagree with her. I heard it myself. I'm hard on myself. But I couldn't manage to make myself stop. And suddenly, a couple weeks ago, it finally clicked.
I have been in an abusive relationship with myself.
I would promise myself I'd do things for me and fail to follow through and then shame myself relentlessly for not following through. I would kick my own butt on a daily basis. And as I watched myself set myself up for failure and self-flagellation over and over again, I finally saw what I was doing. The moment I became conscious of it, I realized I had a choice. I could either continue, or choose to stop it. And I stopped. But in the past week, it has evolved further. I mean, here I was, seeking a romantic relationship and encountering mirrors of what I was doing to myself... What if I didn't just stop beating myself up? What if I actually started treating myself like I would want my ideal partner to treat me? What if I woke up saying, "Good morning, beautiful! I hope you have a great day!" What if I honored my promises to myself? What if I treated myself with kindness and compassion? What if I started focusing on everything there is to love about me instead of everything that is unlovable? Better yet, what if I started loving myself so fiercely that I couldn't even see any part of me as unlovable? What if I actually started treating myself the way I treat others? What a novel concept!
As I started to share with my Mastermind group the shift in my consciousness, they were inspired, and I was inspired even more. What if I took RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY for the love I want to receive in this world by giving it to my SELF. Talk about a radical! It seems so simple... and yet it has never occurred to me until now.
So today, I take Radical Responsibility for not just loving myself, but truly falling in LOVE with my SELF again. As far as I'm concerned, this is going to be a love affair to remember! And for the month of July, I am going to give you a peek of the process. For the next 31 days, I promise to:
- Tell myself daily that I love my Self and give one unique reason why
- Give daily Instagram updates of how I chose to love myself that day
- Post regular Blog posts reflecting on the experience and what I have learned
- Make amends to my Self by taking action every day to honor and restore the promises that I have made to Me