Your child is not broken...

I'm bracing myself because I'm sure I'll offend some folks with this one, but it needs to be said.

Your child is not broken.

There is nothing wrong with them. 

Sadly, the people who need to read this probably won't or won't think I'm talking about them, but it breaks my heart every time a parent contacts me telling me that their young child needs professional help because they challenge them as parents.

THAT'S WHAT CHILDREN DO!

And some will definitely be better at it than others.  But to teach a child that there is something wrong with them because of this only destroys their self-esteem.


It's a child's job to test the boundaries, and a parent's job to lovingly set them. 

Believe me... I am by no means saying being a parent is easy.  Being a parent is the hardest job that exists, and it often goes unappreciated.  Setting boundaries in a loving way is nearly impossible at times.  But to blame your child for your own inadequacies is (dare I say it?) abusive. 

You consciously chose to bring them into this world. And with that choice, you elected to be their guardian... to protect their developing mind from undue stress, to nurture their self-esteem, and to teach them how to deal with the world and thrive.  If you are choosing to consider yourself a victim of their behavior, what are you teaching them? That they are broken? They they are victims of their environment? 

I am happy to help children overcome those things that challenge them, but more importantly, if you feel there is something wrong with your child, it's time to look in a mirror. 

How are you guilty of the behaviors you accuse them of?  How can you adjust your parenting techniques to make things run smoother in the household?  Children will often resist structure and discipline, but if you stand firm (and fair!!), they will thrive.  Perhaps we need to utilize some NET to help you let go of your fears, resentments, and other emotions that are preventing you from being the parent you want to be. 

Here's the cold, hard truth... if your children are not who you want them to be, it's not their fault; it's yours. And if this made you angry, or brought out some other emotion for you, I encourage you to let me have it in the comment section below. 

A smoking baby??

Watching this from an educated perspective, it may seem completely preposterous that someone would allow a 2 year old to smoke.  I mean, a child doesn't just pop by the store and whip out some of their hard-earned cash to purchase a pack of cigarettes.  They don't even have the hand-eye coordination to *light* a cigarette!  It's easy to look at this and wonder what is WRONG with those parents for doing that to their child.  Some would even claim it's child abuse!

But is it really so different from what we are doing to children in this country?  We raise them on diets loaded with saturated and trans fats, refined sugars, preservatives, unpronounceable chemicals, and dyes.  Our most consumed "vegetable" in this country is french fries.  We serve kids food that don't even resemble anything coming from nature.  Children can't even recognize common fruits and vegetables.  Toddlers are developing plaque in their arteries and early-onset diabetes.  Roughly one in four children in our country are actually obese!  This generation is expected to be the sickest ever.  And yet, parents continue to feed their children unhealthy foods that they refuse to eat themselves.

When we were children, there were no options at meal times... we ate what was given to us, or we didn't eat at all.  Have human beings changed that much?  I assure you, kids WILL eat.  And I know they'll throw a tantrum.  Or two. Or ten.  But who has allowed them to develop these bad habits?  And do you really want to be responsible for your own child's future health issues?

Remember when doing your best to lovingly stand your ground that you're doing it for THEM.  It may be hard to swallow, but they have developed these unhealthy habits because you have allowed it.  They were entrusted into your care for you to show them the way.  Please don't let them down.

Pooping is FUN!!

I have a patient.  We'll call her M.  M is an adorable little girl who I have been seeing on and off since infancy.  M's mom called me up one day when M was about 3 years old, and said that she had to bring her in.  She hadn't had a bowel movement in two weeks.  "TWO WEEKS? !" I exclaimed.  That's an awfully long time for ANYone!  Mom explained that usually prune juice did the trick but it didn't seem to be working.  I was concerned that there might be a bowel obstruction but since M wasn't showing any physical signs of distress, I thought it would be best to get her adjusted.

When she came in, I found multiple subluxations in her pelvis, low back, and upper neck.  This justified her presenting symptoms: the nerves in the low back and pelvis control the lower digestive tract and elimination while the upper neck dominates overall visceral functioning with it's relationship to the vagus nerve.  So, as I always do with my patients, I found it, fixed it, left it alone, and let her body take over the healing process as it was designed to do.  I warned Mom that if things did not change soon, a medical response would be required, and I sent them on their way.

Within a half hour, I got a text from Mom... M went to the bathroom as soon as they got home.  Afterwards, she proclaimed, "Pooping's FUN, Mommy!!!" and proceeded to play "Chiropractor" by pretending to adjust Mom.   Perhaps we have a future Chiropractor on our hands?