Book Review: "There Is Nothing Wrong With You" by Cheri Huber

Regardless of what you were taught to believe, there is nothing wrong with you.  Or any of us.  And that is what this book attempts to communicate.

The subtitle is "Going Beyond Self-Hate: A compassionate process for learning to accept yourself exactly as you are."

This book was recommended to me by one of my mentors, Dr. Scott Walker, and I'm so glad I read it.  It was a quick, easy read that has become another experiment for me.

We all struggle with self-doubt, and as a practitioner who's blessed to be entrusted with my patients' deepest secrets, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all of us have asked the question at some point in our lives, "What's wrong with me?"  We judge ourselves, abuse ourselves, sell ourselves short...  EVEN ME... and this book is an excellent education in how to stop these sabotaging behaviors.   We are all taught as children to be "good."  But in our attempts to be "good," we abandon our own needs and emotions, perceiving them as "bad." We punish ourselves.  We hate ourselves.  And that hatred extends outwards from us to those around us.

In this book, you'll learn how helping others can even be a form of self-abuse, and when we are abusing ourselves, the last thing we should be doing is helping others... Instead of coming from a position of abundance and love, we come from a place of lack and fear which breeds anger and resentment.  What good is it to help others if it just leaves you feeling angry and resentful at the end of the day?  How can you positively influence the world in that state?  Is that really being a "good person?"

This book showed me how to love myself in a deeper way than had ever occurred to me before.  What's really incredible to me is what I have noticed as I have conducted this experiment...  I'm doing things better than ever!  My thoughts are clearer, my body more coordinated... and I can't help but think of a child who has been knocked down with insults day after day, who starts to embody those insults...  When we show that child love and acceptance, they begin to shine.  Based on my experience, I believe the inner child is the same way.

"Don't waste your time and energy beating yourself up for having wandered.

Just sit quietly in gratitude for having returned."

So I hope you read this book... Then give yourself a pat on the back for taking that step and let me know what YOUR experience is in the comments below... (don't forget to follow this blog so you never have to miss a post again!)

Confessions of a Self-Abuser

Abuse is a tricky thing...

It can be blatant... or, more often than not,  it can sneak up on us in covert ways until our self-esteem has crumbled and we don't even know how we got to this sad, insecure place.

I suspect most of us have felt abused at some point in our lives, and the feelings said abuse harbors are certainly not pleasant...

But it occurred to me, as I was thinking one day, how often we abuse ourselves.

We overindulge in food, drink, sleep, and activity.  We work ourselves too hard in our careers and our workouts.  We criticize ourselves...  I mean, really, we are our own worst enemy!  And yet we get angry at others who would treat us with such disrespect!

This train of thought really shifted my approach to my diet and exercise... and to my life in general.

How can I get angry at others for treating me with the same standards (or sometimes better than) I treat myself?

So starting now, I have a new filter for all my decisions.

"In this choice, am I respecting my life and myself in the way I would want others to respect me?"

Certainly puts a new spin on that giant slice of cheesecake that keeps you from achieving your goal weight.

Or that cigarette that's polluting your lungs.

Or that neurotoxin we call "alcohol."

I'm not saying we can't indulge, but smoking, overeating, drinking too much caffeine or alcohol, pushing ourselves to exhaustion, going to bed too late... it's all just self-abuse!  And when we look at it through that lens, it certainly changes our decision making process.

How are you abusing yourself?  And more importantly, which abusive behaviors are you going to stop?