Book Review: "There Is Nothing Wrong With You" by Cheri Huber

Regardless of what you were taught to believe, there is nothing wrong with you.  Or any of us.  And that is what this book attempts to communicate.

The subtitle is "Going Beyond Self-Hate: A compassionate process for learning to accept yourself exactly as you are."

This book was recommended to me by one of my mentors, Dr. Scott Walker, and I'm so glad I read it.  It was a quick, easy read that has become another experiment for me.

We all struggle with self-doubt, and as a practitioner who's blessed to be entrusted with my patients' deepest secrets, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all of us have asked the question at some point in our lives, "What's wrong with me?"  We judge ourselves, abuse ourselves, sell ourselves short...  EVEN ME... and this book is an excellent education in how to stop these sabotaging behaviors.   We are all taught as children to be "good."  But in our attempts to be "good," we abandon our own needs and emotions, perceiving them as "bad." We punish ourselves.  We hate ourselves.  And that hatred extends outwards from us to those around us.

In this book, you'll learn how helping others can even be a form of self-abuse, and when we are abusing ourselves, the last thing we should be doing is helping others... Instead of coming from a position of abundance and love, we come from a place of lack and fear which breeds anger and resentment.  What good is it to help others if it just leaves you feeling angry and resentful at the end of the day?  How can you positively influence the world in that state?  Is that really being a "good person?"

This book showed me how to love myself in a deeper way than had ever occurred to me before.  What's really incredible to me is what I have noticed as I have conducted this experiment...  I'm doing things better than ever!  My thoughts are clearer, my body more coordinated... and I can't help but think of a child who has been knocked down with insults day after day, who starts to embody those insults...  When we show that child love and acceptance, they begin to shine.  Based on my experience, I believe the inner child is the same way.

"Don't waste your time and energy beating yourself up for having wandered.

Just sit quietly in gratitude for having returned."

So I hope you read this book... Then give yourself a pat on the back for taking that step and let me know what YOUR experience is in the comments below... (don't forget to follow this blog so you never have to miss a post again!)

The Best Thanksgiving Ever (Part 1)

When we dissect the word Thanksgiving, we end up with Thanks and Giving, and in my humble opinion, the ideal Thanksgiving would include both...

And this is where I find myself today... Giving of myself and feeling overwhelmingly thankful.

Today, I drove to Staten Island and volunteered in an attempt to make a rather bleak Thanksgiving for many just a tad bit better.  But the story really began a week ago... or even three weeks ago.

When Sandy hit, like many of us in the area, I had no access to TV... but I was watching news updates on Facebook, listening to reports on the radio, and things seemed bleak.  As I ventured out the morning after the storm to assess the damage at the office (after all, in such a stressful situation, I knew many people would need to get their nervous systems tuned up and I wanted to make sure I'd have a place to do so!) I was in awe.  Huge trees had toppled everywhere across roads, homes, telephone wires... This was so much bigger than I had imagined...  Tears streamed down my face as the I drove, overwhelmed by the circumstances the NY/NJ area had found itself in, and as one who feels better when she's DOING something versus sitting on the sidelines, I ached to be of service somehow. I immediately put my offer out the the Universe... I posted on News Station sites offering help, I called the Emergency hotline in my town offering my services to emergency personnel, I started collecting non-perishables, I called the State Volunteer hotline... And yet I kept finding dead ends or limited response. Sure, when I got in touch with someone, they were grateful for my offer, but no one seemed to want to utilize the help I was offering.

I decided I needed to take a different approach.  I prayed.

And what I determined was that I would be most useful using the gift I'm best at: Treating my patients, who were all living in the same overwhelmingly emotional soup that I was.  After all, I am armed with one of the best tools for addressing stress known to the modern world!

So that's what I did.

But still, it ate away at me... thinking of these people that were cold, homeless, and had lost so much so suddenly on a holiday that's supposed to be about celebrating bounty, prosperity and stuffing ourselves silly.  I was planning my "Annual Thanksgiving for those with nowhere to go" and wishing I could somehow invite all those who've been affected so drastically by the storm...

And then, an interesting turn of events occurred... All but one person canceled their Thanksgiving plans with me...  I was wondering how this would all pan out... That's a lot of cooking for just two people...  I was supposed to go grocery shopping that day... But I went to church, and they mentioned SandyThanksgiving.com.  They were looking for volunteers to help serve food and clean. 

How serendipitous!

I signed up immediately.

As the week went on, I got so many tempting offers from family and friends to join them at their meals... but I am not one to ignore such "coincidences"

And I'm so glad I listened. (Click here to read Part 2)

The Best Thanksgiving Ever (Part 2)

(Read Part 1 of this story here)

On the way to the site, I debated changing my mind. I had hit a lot of traffic (probably people on their way to their Thanksgiving celebrations) and was running late. I didn't know if I'd be able to find my crew or if there'd be anything for me to do. I had no idea what to expect and I was getting overwhelmed and teary thinking of the devastation I was probably going to witness.  The bottom line was, I was making excuses because I was scared and unsure of what I was getting myself into.

I stated before that I don't ignore "coincidence."  I see it as a road sign in my life, indicating that I'm on the right path. Those signs have never steered me wrong and I wasn't going to start brushing it aside now simply because a little fear popped up.

As I drove through Staten Island, I admired the homes, the history, and thought, "Wow, this really doesn't look too bad!" And then... I started to see it... It started with some trees that were no longer upright, but as I got closer to the shoreline, blocks and blocks of homes had signs indicating they were condemned.  A little further down the street, hot food was being served out of tents, and supplies were being distributed.  It resembled a shanty town...  Every couple blocks, these "camps" were set up, with different churches or organizations sponsoring them.  And those were one of the few places I seemed to see any people until I got to the volunteer check-in.

As I was pulling into the parking lot, I stated my business to the two police officers stationed making sure everyone was there for the right reasons.  One responded sarcastically, "Oh.  You here to volunteer, eh?  Geez, I have no idea where you can do that."  The other said, "Ma'am, you're just going to head on over to that tent over there and they can assist you.  There's a lot of manual labor to be done, but I'm sure you can find something else since I'm sure you wouldn't want to do that."  Apparently Officer #2 had no idea who he was talking to (LOL!) but I'll give you one guess who the native New Yorker was. ;)

After reporting for duty, they sent me to Patterson Street where a crew had been stationed. There were gloves, masks, and everything you'd need for demolition and clean-up.  Shortly after I walked up to the site, wondering how to make myself useful, someone called out, "We need a crew to tear out a tile floor!"  "Guess I'm up," I thought, and stepped up to the plate.

I gathered the list of tools we needed and jumped in the back of a U-Haul van with four men (not something I would recommend in different circumstances) and arrived at house a couple blocks away.  This is where I met Marina.

Marina was a very sweet middle-aged Russian woman who taught music.  As I stepped into her home, I saw the decals on the walls... Hello Kitty, silly little frogs... this was a woman who loved the children she taught and did her best to make her home warm, inviting, and fun for them.  Marina welcomed us with a courageous smile.  She was so grateful to have us there. As I gazed around what I assume used to be her living room/teaching studio (her recording studio had been in the basement), I noticed that the bottom two-thirds of the walls in the front room and kitchen had already been removed and the front room was down the to subfloor.  We moved the damaged cabinets, kitchen table, and her bicycle carefully out of the kitchen (the insurance adjuster needed to see them before they were moved anywhere else) and got to work.

Two hours of sweat, force, sledgehammering, shoveling, and hauling and the job was done.  They say "many hands make light work" and I can't disagree.  I remember helping my father remove linoleum (a similar process) from our kitchen (about the same size as hers) when I was a kid and it took us days.  I couldn't believe how much sand had gotten under the tiles... but when the ocean comes for a sleepover, it really leaves its mark.

Marina was so grateful for our help.  The entire time, she was snapping photos of us working. She wanted to take our picture and insisted on getting our contact info (she's having a concert next week and wanted to invite us all).  When she saw my email address she asked, "You're a doctor?" When I said yes, the look on her face was priceless.  "Oh! Thank you so much!!" she exclaimed.  I wondered why this was so awe-inspiring to her... I guess doctors have a reputation for staying out of the trenches...

After snapping our photo, she looked at us in awe and said thank you one last time...  and I saw that look on her face... that look that always makes me offer my patients a hug... I offered, she accepted, and it quickly turned into a tearful group hug. It was such a touching moment. In her broken English, she stated, "Only in America! This would never happen in my country!"  She wanted to return the favor somehow, and I looked her in the eye and said, "You don't owe us anything. Just know that you're loved."  We all gave her another hug and she kissed us all on the cheek and she asked again that we come to her concert because she really wanted to see us all again.  I really hope to attend.

The rest of the day was spent having a quick (but delicious!) Thanksgiving meal (prepared by folks from Liquid Church) and then helping shuttle the U-Haul vans back to the various locations we had gotten them from that morning.

We ran across this sign of the storm after dropping off a couple FEMA employees (they were on leave after working since Sandy hit but decided to stick around for a few days to volunteer... they were staying on a ship).

In case you can't make that out, that's a ship.  Almost on the ROAD.
See the double yellow line?  Pretty wild stuff...

And after a very long, emotional day, as I continued to make folks smile with my humor and antics, (as well as passing out a stash of hand warmers I found - it was COLD once the sun went down!!), I was awarded the coveted hard hat!

If you are interested in being part of the relief efforts, monetary donations can be made here.  Additionally, volunteers are going to be needed for a while... this site can give you some options. Or, keep an eye on my Facebook page and I will be sure to let you know of opportunities as they present themselves.  Also be aware that we are continuing to collect non-perishables at the office or you can simply drop some goodies off at your local shelter.  

Thanks for letting me share my story.

Are Tums a good source of Calcium?

Tums had an advertising campaign out years ago for a Tums with extra calcium.  They claimed that this version of Tums was a great source of Calcium... Why take JUST CALCIUM when you could fight indigestion at the same time???

Unfortunately, stomach acid is actually necessary for the digestion and absorption of Calcium (as well as other nutrients) and as an ANTACID, Tums actually creates the opposite environment.  I actually recommend that for increased absorption, Calcium supplements be taken with something acidic like orange or cranberry juice.

The better option is to determine where your indigestion is coming from and address those issues... Your body may actually be deficient in Hydrochloric Acid so it overproduces to compensate when you eat, or you could have a hiatal hernia, where the stomach has herniated above the diaphragm, causing stomach acid to leak into the esophagus and throat.  (This can be fixed by a simple, effective adjustment and I have seen many patients successfully eliminate long-term antacid use from their life thanks to this adjustment.)

If you or someone you love is suffering from indigestion, feel free to share this post with them!

Stay healthy!! :)

Dr. Redmond

Positivity Playlist: Turn me on!

This song was actually written about her chiropractor!  What a great grasp of the chiropractic philosophy!

"Make me come alive, 

come on and turn me on

Touch me, 

save my life, 

come on and turn me on"

We process the hole world through our nervous systems... therefore, a fully functioning nervous system makes us fully ALIVE!

Have you been adjusted today?

Labels Lie! Here's the proof...

I don't normally eat a lot of processed food (and this post in and of itself explains mostly why!) but I was cat-sitting for my parents while they were out of town and happened to be there around dinner time.  I was hungry and I saw this in the pantry and thought, "Serves two!  Perfect!  I'm one, and I can save the other serving for later!"

Upon closer inspection (and unfortunately after I had eaten half the container thinking that was a serving), I realized I had been conned. 

Notice that on the label, it states that the package contains "about 4" servings...  I guess, theoretically, it DOES serve two... and then some.  But how many of us would assume the same thing I did?  And I KNOW packaged food is often labeled in a misleading way. 

It turns out that the actual serving turns out to be about a half cup of tortellini.  I don't know about you, but a half cup of tortellini doesn't seem like much of a meal to me!  If you were to split this bag in half to "serve 2," you would actually be getting almost a GRAM of sodium and 14 grams of fat!  And that doesn't even include the salt they suggest you use in the cooking water or the sauce you use on your pasta.

What would my dinner (also ready in 10 minutes) look like at home?  Perhaps half a grilled chicken breast (thank you, George Foreman grill!), some steamed or frozen veggies, a salad, and some flatbread or half a sweet potato (followed by some dark chocolate or fruit for dessert.. YUM!).  It's certainly more filling, more satisfying, and better for you!

So it seems my "convenient" dinner wasn't so convenient after all.

What foods have surprised YOU either by how healthy and easy they turned out to be, or by how unhealthy they were once you read the label?  Leave them in the comments below...

Positivity Playlist: Song 15

Maybe it's hopeless

Maybe I should just give up

What if I can't trust myself? 

What if I just need some help?

Maybe it's time to change...

Positivity Playlist: Song 14

"I don't give up, no I don't ever give up

I fall down sometimes

Sometimes I come back flying..."

Positivity Playlist: Song 13

Don't stop thinkin about tomorrow

Don't stop, it'll soon be here

It'll be better than before...

Positivity Playlist: Song 12

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking

"What if I had given everything

instead of going through the motions?"

Positivity Playlist: Song 11

"Our lives are made

In these small hours

these little wonders

These twists and turns of fate"

On Living Life On Purpose.

When I was younger, there were a lot of dark days, but there was one thing that kept me going... I knew that I was here for a reason... there were people that needed my help, even though I wasn't sure how I was going to help them yet.   I trusted that God had a plan in mind, even if I didn't know what it was.  Someone sent me this today, and it reminded me of those days. 

I am overcome with gratitude on a daily basis that I have discovered my personal way to serve the world and make it a better place.  Know that even if you don't feel you have arrived at that part of your journey yet, you can make a difference every day, with every choice you make: In how you treat your friends, family, and even the strangers you pass on the street...  even in how you treat yourself.

Perseverance through the darkest of days is what makes the light shine brightest on the other side.  And often, through this perseverance, your purpose is discovered...

Happy travels...

Positivity Playlist: Song 9

These lyrics never fail to give me chills... "Be the change you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Ghandi

The Power of Affirmations

In first grade, I started a new school.  I was so excited (and a little nervous) to start my new adventure.  I was enthusiastic to learn, to take the bus to school, to make new friends... it's such an exciting time in any six year old's life!

But things didn't turn out quite as I had planned.

The class was small and most of the kids already seemed to know each other.  This one particular girl (we'll call her Melinda) picked me as a target.  I was perplexed.  I tried being extra nice to her and making peace offerings, but she would just turn up her nose, sneer, and walk away.  Kids who I thought I had forged friendships with would sheepishly shy away from me when she glared at them.  I didn't understand. I never hated ANYone, so this behavior was completely foreign and confusing to me.

My affirmations started right then and there.  As Melinda's hatred infected the rest of the class like a cancer labeling me a social outcast, making friends became harder and harder.  And every day, I would repeat to myself two things:

What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.
 

Someday, they will see me for the wonderful person I truly am.

I wish I could say it changed at the end of the year.  But it didn't.  In a small school, grades K-8, we stayed with pretty much the same kids all the way through.  And first impressions last. After a while, everyone forgot why they didn't talk to me.  I made some friends.  But it continued to be somewhat of a social taboo to interact with me, and only the bravest, most secure kids were willing to take that risk (sadly, a rarity in the world of 9-13 year old girls).  Luckily, outside of school, making friends was never much of an issue; I was shy but likable.  However, when you spend the majority of your day invisible, it definitely outweighs the limited time you spend with friends at church or camp or girl scouts.

I'd like to clarify that this is not a complaint.

Yes, it lead to a lot of tears, down days, and a lot to process emotionally, but I couldn't be more grateful.

Why, you ask?

Because how lucky am I, that all my friends passed the test of loyalty before we ever even spoke?

And thanks to Melinda, I never had to follow the crowd.  I am fiercely independent.  I march to the beat of my own drummer.  I have amazing empathy.  I have overwhelming gratitude for friendship. I am a pro at finding things to love about others.  My patients often comment that they feel no judgment from me, no matter what intimate details they share. And I have a soft spot in my heart for the underdogs of the world.  But most of all, I got the opportunity to access the inner strength I never knew I had.  I had no one to rely on but me.  And I made it through.  What didn't kill me DID make me stronger.

And you know what?  Eventually, she DID see me for the wonderful person I truly am (and was).  Our final year together (8th grade), we happened to get paired up in the same art group.  Over the year, she got to know the person that I was.  I wasn't even trying to impress her. I had given up trying to convince anyone of my worthiness years before. I just was who I was.  But at the end of the year, she pulled me aside and apologized.

She explained that she had been jealous.  She was jealous (of all things) of my long blond hair.  It makes me laugh just thinking about it. And she laughed as well as she acknowledged her silliness of being so concerned with such a petty, insignificant thing.  She said it was just like Barbie's (which made us laugh even more) and she wanted it and was angry she couldn't have hair like that.  This lead her to threaten anyone who spoke to me.  And eventually, most of the kids listened.  The few who didn't listen, she tortured in her own seething way.

But over the course of that last year together she finally got the chance to get to know the object of her contempt.  And she said that she realized how awesome I was and how unjustified her behavior had been.  She said she had never met someone so accepting of others, so easy-going.  She told me I was funny, and kind, and a really good friend, even when others didn't seem to deserve it.  She was amazed by my capacity for forgiveness, even after she confessed what she had done.  She even went as far as to tell everyone in the class that they needed to get to know me, because I was by far one of the coolest people she had ever known.

And if that's not an answered prayer (aka manifested affirmation), I don't know what is.

So I encourage you to say affirmations. Daily. Believe them. Imagine what they will feel like when they come to pass.

Because they will.  Even if it takes 8 years. ;.)

Video Blog: What makes me different from other Chiropractors?

Positivity Playlist: Song 7

A reminder not to take life too seriously...

Drug Showdown! Advil Vs. Tylenol

If you're trying to decide whether to take Advil or Tylenol for your pain, consider this:

First, I'm going to state the obvious:

Drugs work by interfering with the body's natural functioning to create a desired effect (as well as many side effects, aka undesired effects).  You cannot chemically manipulate a biochemical pathway without starting a cascade of unwanted effects.

Advil, as an NSAID (Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug), interferes with the biochemical pathway that encourages inflammation.  However, this same inflammation is what triggers the anti-inflammatory cycle which is responsible for laying down new healthy tissue and repairing the area.  If you have damaged tissue and take Ibuprofen (Advil), you are actually impeding your body's ability to heal.

Tylenol (acetaminophen), on the other hand, works with a different pathway, but that pathway is also responsible for T cell production. T cells are one of our basic immune cells and are used to target invading organisms and eliminate problem cells (bacteria, viruses... even cancer!).  These are the same cells that are not being produced in those with AIDs which is why people with AIDs can be killed by something as seemingly harmless as mold spores.  They no longer have the cells to defend themselves. 

Many athletes talk about using Advil post workout, but workouts shred tissue.  Post workout, your body is working hard to rebuild and repair... is it a good idea to impede this process?  Research has shown that neither Advil nor Tylenol improve recovery time from a workout. 

So if Advil impedes the healing process, and Tylenol impedes the immune system, which would YOU choose?

Video Blog: Just saying hello!