Sunday, July 1, 2018

Romancing My Self

I was sitting in my Mastermind group yesterday, and we each pulled a card from my friend's "Truth Bomb" deck. This was mine:

It couldn't have been more perfect.

A few months ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about a dating relationship that was not working out the way I had hoped and she stopped me and said, "You're being a real jerk to yourself, Jenn!!" I couldn't disagree with her. I heard it myself. I'm hard on myself.  But I couldn't manage to make myself stop. And suddenly, a couple weeks ago, it finally clicked.

I have been in an abusive relationship with myself.

I would promise myself I'd do things for me and fail to follow through and then shame myself relentlessly for not following through. I would kick my own butt on a daily basis. And as I watched myself set myself up for failure and self-flagellation over and over again, I finally saw what I was doing. The moment I became conscious of it, I realized I had a choice. I could either continue, or choose to stop it.  And I stopped. But in the past week, it has evolved further. I mean, here I was, seeking a romantic relationship and encountering mirrors of what I was doing to myself... What if I didn't just stop beating myself up? What if I actually started treating myself like I would want my ideal partner to treat me? What if I woke up saying, "Good morning, beautiful! I hope you have a great day!" What if I honored my promises to myself? What if I treated myself with kindness and compassion? What if I started focusing on everything there is to love about me instead of everything that is unlovable? Better yet, what if I started loving myself so fiercely that I couldn't even see any part of me as unlovable? What if I actually started treating myself the way I treat others? What a novel concept! 

As I started to share with my Mastermind group the shift in my consciousness, they were inspired, and I was inspired even more. What if I took RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY for the love I want to receive in this world by giving it to my SELF. Talk about a radical! It seems so simple... and yet it has never occurred to me until now.  

So today, I take Radical Responsibility for not just loving myself, but truly falling in LOVE with my SELF again. As far as I'm concerned, this is going to be a love affair to remember! And for the month of July, I am going to give you a peek of the process. For the next 31 days, I promise to:
  • Tell myself daily that I love my Self and give one unique reason why
  • Give daily Instagram updates of how I chose to love myself that day
  • Post regular Blog posts reflecting on the experience and what I have learned
  • Make amends to my Self by taking action every day to honor  and restore the promises that I have made to Me
If this resonates with you, join me!  We are so hard on ourselves... But what if we all took on truly falling madly, deeply in love with ourselves? Take on the Romance Your Self Challenge! And be sure to share it with me by throwing #RomanceYourSelfChallenge into your post.


Unknown said...

Hi Dr. Jennifer,

I stumbled upon your post...needless to say I am going through a very bad break up right has really hurt me....I love the person a lot and he doesn’t even seem to care....

I still try to connect with him everyday....the funny part is both him and I are very spiritual....and it still did not work....he was my ideal mate although he was much older

But loved your post


Dr. Redmond said...

Hello, Chaitali,

I don't know how I missed this comment before, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear you were having a rough time and I hope things have improved since then.