High Expectations: The negative side effect of Optimism

It is well-documented, according to my friends, that I am an optimist to an almost pathological degree.  I even have a friend who is a Doctor of Psychology who insists she is going to write a book about me and my disorder: Optimistic Personality Disorder (OPD).  She assures me that I am the most extreme case she's ever seen.  Symptoms include but are not limited to: perpetual silver linings, always expecting the best from people, and giving endless second (third, fourth, fifth, etc) chances.

Unfortunately, though my disorder helps me continually seek out and find the gifts offered by these experiences, I am often disappointed in others' behavior.  I'm not one to typically hold a grudge or blame (at least not for long), but I definitely get let down.

Recently, however, in a conversation with a friend, I remarked on how optimistic he was...  He responded that he's learned to keep his expectations low "so everything is a gain."  This was such a remarkable statement to me.  I really needed to be reminded of that today.  And this one little sentence brings so many gifts with it...

First of all, the answers to our troubles could be waiting anywhere, even in a passing comment, so listen up, and they will find you!  I am so grateful for the little ways God speaks to me on a daily basis, and the true beauty of it is that these little messages are so subtle and personalized that no one notices them but me... they're like our own little secret love letters going back and forth... I show my gratitude through my attempt to make the most of this life, and God communicates back through these random moments. I doubt that person had any idea what his statement really meant to me...

Second, keep your expectations of others low!  We can't expect everyone to behave the way we would or even have the same guidelines for living, and expecting others to behave in specific ways simply sets us up for disappointment.  This is not to say that it is ok for people to treat us unfairly or with disrespect, but expecting others to behave according to what we dictate to be right and good simply isn't fair. 

Instead, if someone treats you in a way you find undesireable, speak up, in a kind and loving way, assuming they had no intention to hurt you. Let them know how you would like to be treated, not in a demanding or controlling manner, but it a way that brings awareness of how their behavior affected you.  If they choose not to respect your feelings, you have the opportunity to decide if this person is really worth having as an integral part of your life.  After all, if someone treats us with disrespect, it is OUR responsibility, and ours alone, to love ourselves enough to walk away.  How can we blame the scorpion for stinging the frog?

When a canceled flight turns into an educational experience...

A healthy attitude is more important than a healthy body.

As a chiropractor, it may seem blasphemous to say such a thing, but the truth of the matter is, a healthy attitude is PARAMOUNT to having a healthy body!

Recently, I was traveling for a seminar, and my flight was canceled after first being delayed by about 4 hours.  The next available flight would be the following morning, which not only meant I would have to be up at 4am to get to the airport in time, but I would also miss half of one of the two days of a seminar I was traveling halfway across the country for.  I made a conscious choice not to get upset about it.  After all, there was nothing I could do to change it, and getting upset would just flood my system with stress hormones and increase my cardiovascular risk.  I amused myself while waiting in line, chatting with the other passengers and joking that this was just another story for my book... another adventure unfolding.  What could have been termed as a "complete nightmare" transpired as a pleasant exchange with some new acquaintances and a chance to slow down and enjoy the scenery.

It's important to remember that wellness is more than just how one treats their physical body, but also how one treats their emotional and spiritual body. Research has shown that not only does a positive mental attitude make a person more attractive, it also speeds recovery time and reduces overall illness. It even effects your pain tolerance! Taking time regularly to reflect on the way you approach and affect your world is imperative to having a truly fulfilling life. And finding a chuckle in the bumps along the way makes life far more fun!  After all, the worst disasters often turn into the most compelling tales...  Perhaps, the lessons I learned on my way to the seminar were even more valuable than those I learned while attending...  What kind of experiences have you made positive as a result of your own attitude shift?