Thursday, November 12, 2015

A Peek Behind the Curtain: Feeling unworthy of Love

Many times, Neuro Emotional Technique will provide "Aha!" moments for my patients. But sometimes, I am blessed to have my own in being a witness to their care. This was one of those days.

I had a patient who was wrestling with depression and anxiety. She had grown up in a severely abusive home, and now, in her golden years, she was haunted with "irrational worries"... worries that she knew were irrational but she couldn't figure out how to shake. She ended up on anti-depressants because she was losing the ability to get through the day or even get out of bed. I listened to her talk about how frustrated she was... she had such a good life, a loving husband, wonderful grown children and grandchildren who adored her... but she found herself overcome with worry. She felt she should just be grateful, but with every gift seemed to come more worry and the more she worried, the guiltier she felt. The depression just kept increasing exponentially throughout this cycle.

Of course, I encouraged her to dive into the feelings with NET.

What we uncovered was an NEC (Neuro Emotional Component) that not only opened her eyes, but mine.  

You see, she grew up with a violently abusive, strict father who she, despite all his harsh behavior, adored (as children often do). What surfaced with our session was how undeserving he felt of her love and adoration. And as she saw him struggle with his self-worth and self-love, she did what many 7 year olds would do... and what many adults channeling their inner 7 year old try to do... she loved him even more, trying to show him how lovable he was... trying to show him what she saw so lovable. She was trying to help him. And the more she loved, helped, tried... the angrier he got, the more undeserving he felt, the more severely he punished her, and the more his self-esteem suffered.  

As an adult, struggling with incapacitating anxiety and depression, she found herself wrestling with the same cycle, only now SHE was the one who felt like a burden, unlovable.

As she struggled, her family tried to help, but it just made the cycle continue. 

I share this story, not to discourage you from trying to help those you care about, but to give some firsthand insight as to what is going on. And if you are trapped in this cycle yourself, please put the self-judgement on hold and seek out a Neuro Emotional Technique practitioner.

In case you are wondering, she is feeling much better and currently weaning off her medication with the help of her MD. She has also been encouraged to seek the help of a licensed counselor to help process her current emotions and the scars of her past.
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