I wasn't quite sure what to expect of this place I was going to. I had made my reservations on a whim and didn't do much research. All I knew is that I had to take a cab to the dock, and a boat from there. I was relieved when my friend Sean, who had decided to join me on my trip, landed in Nassau. After a seemingly endless wait at customs, a very helpful Atlantis employee helped us discover Ellington Ferguson (aka Fergie), our cab driver, who brought us to the dock and indulged my curiosity about the Bahamas by helpfully and happily answering all my questions.
At the dock, we met Elena, an Italian import from Washington DC. This was her third visit to Sivananda Ashram and she was almost as excited as I was. As we waited for the small boat to take us across the bay, a marching band paraded around the dock opposite us, probably hired by one of the cruise companies but secretly, I felt they were celebrating our arrival.
I felt the change the moment I stepped onto Paradise Island. The tempo was slower. The structure was less. I wasn't quite sure where to go or what to do and was grateful for Elena's gentle guidance. We checked in and went to what would be my very first Sivananda yoga class.
Sean and I both agreed that class was exactly what we needed to get in the spirit of the place, unwind, and leave our lives behind. 2 hours of sivasana, sun salutations, breathing exercises, child's pose... Sivananda yoga is simple and elegant. Great for a beginner or a master in my observation.
Sitting down to my first meal, while everyone was buzzing about the Thanksgiving feast we had coming, I learned 2 things: everyone does their own dishes, and there are two meals per day. I almost died. For those of you who know a triathlete's metabolism, two meals is considered extreme fasting. How was I going to survive on two meals per day??? I can handle vegetarianism. I'm fine doing dishes even though it is one of my least favorite chores... but 2 meals?? Why did no one tell me? Why didn't I bring snacks?? On top of this, no meat or eggs were even allowed on the property (no caffeine or alcohol either). Despite 7 years of vegetarianism, I now adhere to primarily a paleo diet. This would be an interesting experiment for certain. Eventually, I got over my shock enough to learn that the girl I ended up having my first meal with was not only from New Jersey, but lived in Princeton! Small world!
The meal was delicious and I was fascinated by the idea of having Thanksgiving, an American holiday, with people from all over the world. Funny how it doesn't occur to you until you're out of your environment how foreign some of your customs are. Everyone there loved the idea of a holiday focused on gratitude but I couldn't help but wonder if they would appreciate it as much if they knew all the violence and destruction that came from its genesis.
After dinner, we went to Satsang. I had no idea what that meant until I was there. It began with 25 minutes of silent meditation, followed by chanting, then a speaker, and closing with more chanting. I happened to be there during the Walking with the Mystics symposium in which representatives from different religions spoke about their perspective on Spirituality. That night, the speaker was Father Dave Denny, a Catholic priest. This couldn't have been better orchestrated, as I, a committed, though open-minded Christian, sat curiously wondering about my presence in what appeared to be a Hindu temple. Do I participate? Is that disrespectful to my beliefs? To theirs? And the chanting... I didn't think I would ever figure out how to pronounce all those mantras. That first night, I just sat and listened while following along in the books they provided, occasionally mumbling a syllable or two. And then Father Dave started to speak. He talked about a German term that I cannot remember that translated to something like "church sleep." We've all seen it. Many of us have experienced it. And it, in fact, was the feeling that drew me to this ashram in the first place; the spiritual numbness that makes us feel, despite our best efforts or devotion, we are simply "going through the motions." No matter how much had I tried, I couldn't feel the connection that used to be such a real and regular state for me. And listening to him speak, I was relieved. Perhaps here, I would find answers. Little did I know it was merely the appetizer of the spiritual meal I had been so desperately in need of for so long. As Satsang concluded, I found myself looking forward to what the next day would hold.
At 5:30am, the wakeup bell rang. Satsang began at 6. And we went through the routine again; meditation, chanting, lesson, chanting. This time, Father Dave read poetry about nature, pointing out how poets have a way of capturing the magic of the most seemingly insignificant things, like taking a shower after being at the beach. I was reminded that God lives in those moments.
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| The dock at Sivananda Yoga Retreat |
After another yoga class and a delicious brunch, Sean and I decided to join Arjuna for a tour of the Ashram. Arjuna had been a disciple of Swami Vishnu, the man who had started the ashram, and he loved to share stories of his time with the Swami. Vishnu was a young monk when Sivananda gave him a ten rupee note(less than $20) and told him to bring yoga to the West. Vishnu has since passed on, but his ashrams and mission remain. Arjuna gave us a wonderful tour, including history of how the ashram ended up on such a pricey piece of land, and some of the special plants that grow there. If you have the opportunity to go when he is there, I highly recommend taking his tour. He made it clear that the ashram isn't about converting anyone to any religion. It's about allowing people to connect with God whatever way they are most comfortable and capable. If nature is where you find peace, be in nature. If church is where you find peace, go to church. He said, "Spirituality is like a harp... there are many strings... no matter which one you play, you'll still make music." Something else he mentioned in passing on the tour really stuck with me. "Contentment is not about getting what we want... it is about recognizing what we already have." The moment I heard these words, I said a little prayer of gratitude. It was around this moment that I started to realize that me being in this place was God's way of answering my prayers.
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| The Forest Temple |
After the tour, Sean and I took some beach time. (I can't come all the way to the Bahamas and not go to the beach!) But the wind was blowing fiercely and the waves were rough. With no lifeguard and a written warning about hungry sharks, I decided to put my swim on hold.
For the afternoon, we decided to attend Arjuna's class about Mantras and Meditation. Then more yoga, dinner, and Satsang.
This time, we were introduced to Rabbi Dave Ingber, another Walking with the Mystics presenter. Rabbi Dave started by telling us about the Hasidic tradition of starting the day with the words, "Modeh Ani." This translates to "Thank God I'm Alive!" or just "Thank you." But it's also the same words people use to say, "I surrender." I snapped to attention. You see, last year, after experiencing an emotionally trying challenge in my life, I went to church and, from the sermon, I realized that I was in so much pain because I was trying to stick to my plan instead of surrendering to God's. It was so strong of a message, I actually came home and put the word "SURRENDER" on a post-it on my living room wall as a reminder. Suddenly, I was struck with the feeling that I was meant to be here, in this moment. It seemed as though what he was saying was designed specifically for my ears, my heart, my mind and feeling the stirring in my soul, I knew I had to hear more of what he had to say. He was teaching tomorrow. I would be there.
Click here to find the conclusion of my journey... or the beginning depending on how you look at it...
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