It is well-documented, according to my friends, that I am an optimist to an almost pathological degree. I even have a friend who is a Doctor of Psychology who insists she is going to write a book about me and my disorder: Optimistic Personality Disorder (OPD). She assures me that I am the most extreme case she's ever seen. Symptoms include but are not limited to: perpetual silver linings, always expecting the best from people, and giving endless second (third, fourth, fifth, etc) chances.
Unfortunately, though my disorder helps me continually seek out and find the gifts offered by these experiences, I am often disappointed in others' behavior. I'm not one to typically hold a grudge or blame (at least not for long), but I definitely get let down.
Recently, however, in a conversation with a friend, I remarked on how optimistic he was... He responded that he's learned to keep his expectations low "so everything is a gain." This was such a remarkable statement to me. I really needed to be reminded of that today. And this one little sentence brings so many gifts with it...
First of all, the answers to our troubles could be waiting anywhere, even in a passing comment, so listen up, and they will find you! I am so grateful for the little ways God speaks to me on a daily basis, and the true beauty of it is that these little messages are so subtle and personalized that no one notices them but me... they're like our own little secret love letters going back and forth... I show my gratitude through my attempt to make the most of this life, and God communicates back through these random moments. I doubt that person had any idea what his statement really meant to me...
Second, keep your expectations of others low! We can't expect everyone to behave the way we would or even have the same guidelines for living, and expecting others to behave in specific ways simply sets us up for disappointment. This is not to say that it is ok for people to treat us unfairly or with disrespect, but expecting others to behave according to what we dictate to be right and good simply isn't fair.
Instead, if someone treats you in a way you find undesireable, speak up, in a kind and loving way, assuming they had no intention to hurt you. Let them know how you would like to be treated, not in a demanding or controlling manner, but it a way that brings awareness of how their behavior affected you. If they choose not to respect your feelings, you have the opportunity to decide if this person is really worth having as an integral part of your life. After all, if someone treats us with disrespect, it is OUR responsibility, and ours alone, to love ourselves enough to walk away. How can we blame the scorpion for stinging the frog?
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